Bad Timing
by jennyreyn
Summary: Ninth Doctor. Rose and The Doctor run out of time.


The world seemed quiet.

No. Her world seemed quiet.

All around her people were moving, thinking, doing… whatever they did after an attack like that.

And all she saw was him.

In the movies they always reach other before they fall. Rose now knew that they lied. She'd tried but he'd crashed to the ground before she even seemed to move. When she finally reached him, pushing her way through the tide of bodies and people between them, she knelt beside his head.

The sleeves of her jacket were still pulled up over her hands, and she wiped them under her eyes to rid herself of the tears before gently reaching out to touch his face.

"Doctor?"

Her voice was small, quiet, but he still heard it.

"Hang on, I'll get help."

"No…" he said. "It's not…"

"Don't," she snapped. "You'll be fine."

"Rose…"

He struggled to sit up, and with her help he managed it. From there it was an effort to get him to his feet, then out of the way to a wall that was still intact. He leant against it, then slid down to a sitting position.

"See? You'll be fine," Rose said, trying to believe it herself.

He just shook his head.

"But…"

"It'll be fine," he said.

"How?" she asked, tears starting to spill down her cheeks. "How is it going to be fine?"

"Just… trust me…" he hissed, obviously in pain.

"What am I gonna do?"

"You'll get home…"

"That wasn't what I meant," she said softly, running a hand first through his hair then down his cheek.

"No… I mean…"

Each breath stuck in his throat, and he had a choice. One or the other.

He lifted his hand to her cheek, first brushing it gently then cupping her jawline. He'd put all his energy into moving and now he was trapped in the same position.

So she moved for him.

His touch was an invitation, one she'd been waiting for. Very carefully she leant forward and pressed her lips on his.

Time froze.

Literally, figuratively, she didn't know. Didn't care.

The kiss deepened but it was never overly passionate.

Just… intimate.

When they finally broke contact she rested her forehead on his, breathing in his breath.

Air from his lungs.

"You'll be… fine," she said again, less sure of herself this time.

"Rose…"

The hand on her cheek went limp and she grabbed at it, holding it against her skin.

"No, no, no," she said. "Please…"

She looked into his eyes, seeing the man she'd always seen. Then in one instant he was gone. When she relaxed her grip on his hand there was no resistance and it fell to the ground beside him.

Grief welled up inside her chest, trying to burst free from somewhere, anywhere. But she cried in silence, kneeling close to him and pulling his head into her chest. Her sobs racked both their bodies as she tried to will him back to life.

At first she thought she was imagining it but then she realised that his temperature was definitely rising. In shock she pushed him away, fearful of getting burnt. Shots of white light seemed to trace their way across his body before bursting out with such intensity that she had to shield her eyes.

Was this how they died? In light?

When she looked back she reeled back further, this time in horror. The body lying there was not the man she knew. The eyes, open and looking at her, were different.

"Rose?" the stranger asked.

"…Who…?"

"It's me. The Doctor."

She gave a hollow laugh in the base of her throat that would have been one akin to, "yeah, right" had she not been in the process of grieving.

"It is," he repeated. "I… regenerate."

Before he could say anything else she'd picked herself up and fled.

* * *

He found her lying on her bed, sobbing into the covers.

"Rose?"

She sat bolt upright in shock, looking at him as though she was afraid for her life.

"How did you…?" she asked.

He held up the TARDIS key. "I am The Doctor. Ask me anything. Something only he'd know."

"OK," she said, sitting up on the bed. "When was the first time we kissed?"

"Just before I died."

"Bad choice. You could have been watching."

"Rose," he sighed, "it is me."

"How long have my parents been married?"

"Rose…"

"How long?"

"Fine, give me the third degree if you want. Want me to tell you that your father is dead? That he was hit by a car? Well, that was in the original timeline. When we went back you stopped it and caused all manner of problems. Including getting me killed by the Reapers. Maybe if I'd regenerated then…"

He stopped when he noticed that her defiant body posture had gone. She was now kneeling back on the bed, looking at him not with fear, but with despair.

"You're not him," she said.

"I am."

"No," she said more firmly. "You're not. You're not my Doctor."

"Oh. Right."

"Is he… gone?"

"Yes. When I die, I regenerate. The body changes, the personality… well, that differs. But the memories are the same. The feelings…"

"No," Rose said, getting off the bed. She held out an arm, pointing a finger at him. "I don't want to know. I don't want to hear…"

"That I love you?"

"…that," she said.

"I never had the chance to say it before…"

"No, _he_ never had the chance."

"I'm still…" He sighed and gave up. "I'm sorry."

His apology caught her off-guard. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I should have told you. Warned you." With a small smile and shrug he added, "How else do you think I've lived for nine centuries?"

"I just thought you… That it was just your kind."

"This is. We have 13 lives. I can regenerate 12 times and carry on."

"And what… number… are you?"

"Ten," he replied.

"What now?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What?"

"What happens to me?" she asked.

"I'm not about to send you home, if that's what you mean."

"What if I want to go home?"

"Do you?"

"I don't know," she said.

"Well, if you did, I wouldn't stop you."

"OK."

"What?" he asked.

"OK, I'd like to go home."

The new Doctor gave a small smile then headed for the control room.

* * *

She was supposed to feel safe, curled up in her own bed.

Except her bed wasn't in this flat anymore. Home was with her Doctor on the TARDIS. Not that imposter. Both of them were long gone. Over the past four months she'd slowly gotten back into her old life, finding work, going back to the "work-eat-sleep" pattern she'd been so used to.

Before he'd come into her life and told her to run.

Her mother was worried about her, but also quietly relieved that she was home safe. Rose had overheard her telling someone that she'd, "been dumped by that older man of hers".

She'd never had the chance to be dumped. She'd never really had the chance to find out if he really had loved her, or if that… other Doctor was making it up.

Work. Eat. Sleep.

Repeat until insane.

* * *

Somewhere, sometime, the Doctor sat lost in his thoughts. He had no ideas, no plans, no interest in doing anything. He'd gotten used to the little legacies that his previous incarnations had left behind. This one was something different. He couldn't shake this feeling in his gut.

He missed her, but he'd promised to take her home.

Every now and then he entertained the idea of sneaking back to Earth, dropping in to say hi or just… watching her. He had her whole life to choose from, hundreds of moments to observe.

He wouldn't interfere, just see how she was. Maybe he'd see her marry, have a family. Could he watch that? See her marry someone else? Have a child with another man? He didn't know if he would have been able to give that to her, but it would have been him trying and not someone else.

She knew it was him immediately. As she rounded the corner he was standing by the bus stop, watching her intently. Once she pushed past the initial _it'snothim_ reaction she could see something she knew in his eyes.

Hurt.

Longing.

Love.

She walked up to him in silence. As the distance shortened her pace quickened and he hurried to meet her. Somewhere in the middle their arms wrapped around the other and they couldn't let go.

"I should have told you," he said into the hood on her top.

"Yeah, well, maybe I should have give you a chance," she replied into his shoulder.

"I'm not him. I mean, I am, but…"

"I know," she replied. She pulled back and looked at him. "I wanted more time with him." When she realised what she'd said and to who, she gave a soft laugh. "You know?"

"I know."

Very slowly, as if at any moment he was expecting her to back away or hurt him, he leant towards her. Rose didn't move. She closed her eyes and allowed him to kiss her. It felt the same but also different. He wasn't as tall as her Doctor, his mouth was different… It felt wrong and she pulled back as if she was betraying her feelings.

"I can't…"

"I'm sorry," he said.

"You're not him. I know you said, but…"

"To you, I'm not."

"No."

"OK." He swallowed hard and nodded. "I understand."

"I wish I could… I want him back…"

"Hey," he said, taking her hand in his. "It's OK."

"You said he… you… loved me."

"Yeah."

"Do you…?"

"Yeah."

"I loved him."

"Bad timing?" he joked.

"I guess," she said.

She kissed him once, on the cheek by his mouth, then walked past him without looking back.

* * *

Rose never saw the Doctor again. Not in that form at least. When she was elderly, dying in a hospital bed, she wondered why that nice young man always came to listen to her stories, stay with her through the nights, and never once let go of her hand. 


End file.
